Today my mom woke me to tell me to study up for SAT subject tests. I didn't say anything and did what I was told.

Before I went to bed, my dad stopped me. I thought he had something important to say. He told me to take out the trash. I didn't say anything. I took out the trash and went to bed.

It was my 18th birthday.

Old Xanga Posts I Thought Were [somewhat] Meaningful

Monday, January 28, 2008

Suck ups... Suck ups....why are there so many in the world? Especially in school, there are way too many of them. They come in swarms, and they're armed with over-the-top obvious comments made to act as if you actually cared for that person. Why would you suck up to someone if you don't actually have any interest in them or what they have to say? So there's this one person I know, that sucks up to every single teacher. It makes me want to vomit every time I hear a comment from him/her. I'm not naming anyone, but why do you have to pretend you are so interested in that teacher's class if his/her class isn't that interesting at all? Government class is so boring, and yet you stop the teacher after every comment to relate it to relate it to some current event topic that I don't care about. Seriously, government class is already annoying enough. Please let our teacher finish what he has to say so I can catch up on my sleep instead of cramming before tests to magically remember all the things he hasn't been able to teach us due to "lack of time." Why would you ever suck up to someone just to get something out of it for your own gain? Sure, I could laugh at every one of his/her dumb jokes and comment about random imagery in every sentence...but that's not me. I don't really care if laughing at his joke will improve my grade. And that's not interesting imagery in his writing...that's how he writes. I could have great imagery if I wanted to, but who cares if I relate my life to the shriek of dying birds. Imagery is imagery, and you don't have to point that out for us, even if that stalls the teacher until the end of class. Maybe sucking up to someone would really benefit my grade. So what if I get an 89% for my final grade (which actually happened, by the way...). Don't be a suck up...it doesn't make you any better of a person. So what if that makes the difference between Harvard and HCC. Does that make you feel any better about yourself? That you cheated with someone's emotions to gain something out of it? The sad thing is that there will always be at least one person in the world that will fall for suck ups like you, and boy do I wish I could punch him in the face and tell him the truth.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Today I was thinking to myself again, as usual, and I came upon the words "friend" and "love." I kept repeating those words to myself. "Friend." "Friend." "Friend." The more I said that word to myself, the less meaning it had. I realized how little the word friend meant to me. Someone I talk to every day and someone I talk to once a year are both considered friends in words, but does that necessarily mean the same in feeling? The word "friend" is overused, just like "love" is. Someone wants to borrow money - "c'mon, you're my friend right?" Someone makes you angry and uses "I love you" as a lame escape. Do words mean anything anymore? Words, just like these words I'm typing on this Xanga don't actually mean anything like written letters did back then. We need to spice up our vocabulary. From now on, "friends" are "friends." Real friends are "life-partners." Not even joking. Just because you're not married, doesn't mean you can't be life-partners. They're going to be with you for the majority of your life, looking out for you. And what about those "friends" you met in high school? Yeah, they're just going to leave your life - forever.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Life is Sad Life is sad. You're thrown into school for 16+ years. Then when you get out of college, you realize that you're going to spend the next 60+ years of your life working 8 hours a day. If you sleep 8 hours a day, 8 hours remain. 3 hours for meals. 1 hour to get to and from work. 4 hours of free time per day. 1 hour to procrastinate and tell yourself that your life sucks. 1 hour for shower + bathroom duties. 1 hour spent attempting to connect with friends and trying to tell yourself you have a social life. That means you really have 1 hour a day all to yourself. But you somehow waste it. You spend your whole life working to buy yourself 2 weeks of vacation a year. I need a vacation.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Belief "Trust your instincts." What a trite saying. Yet, people hold onto it like it's a written law, a commandment. Are your instincts always right? It seems like in most situations, your instincts always rule over everything. Once your mind is set, you never double-check with yourself to make sure that it's the most logical decision. The only time your instincts come in handy is when you are fighting for your life or the life of another. Your girlfriend is stuck under a car and you suddenly have superhuman strength. Your instincts were right. When you were a child, you survived based on instincts. When I was a child, I believed in anything. I had this little system where I believed I could pull out the answer through some "secret power" I had. Answers would pop out at me. When I was in about 1st or 2nd grade, I won money, food, and clothes from a Lottery scratch off. This system I used always worked until I hit about 6th grade. Maybe during your first years of life, you are guided by some higher power. Maybe the more we're educated by this society, the less we believe in ourselves. Education kills creativity. Education kills belief. Believe in yourself. http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html